Sin

In my old life

the one before us

A girl broke my heart

at least that is what I called it

She didn’t really but

it was my excuse to

do real bad things to heal

Baby I did things you

will never know about

The worst one was I got married

to a girl I had only known

 for a month and it was

a bad month

I didn’t love her but

I thought getting married and

starting my grown-up version

of me was the best way to heal  

I was too chicken to tell

her I wanted out so

I did things hoping to get caught

I didn’t act as a real man should

I brought shame to myself

Heaven doesn’t care about

your body count

St. Peter won’t high five you

for the waitresses and strippers

and friends of the bride

you selfishly took as imaginary

revenge for a crime that only

exists in your mind

Try as you might to fight

the darkness

Sometimes you are the monster

behind the door and the

deep claw marks in wood

are the result of trying

to swim out from the nightmare

your sin and cowardice

has brought

I’ll never rest with the angels

for what I have done

The closest I’ll have is

my remaining years with you

You are God’s fist

 in the Devil’s face

Even fallen angels

land on flowers sometimes